


Please, Teach Me English!

by Armoured_Swampert



Category: diamond is unbreakable, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Gen, diamond is unbreakable - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-27 00:36:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2672348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Armoured_Swampert/pseuds/Armoured_Swampert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josuke has to ask an awkward question of Rohan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please, Teach Me English!

The sight of one immediately brought up a sneer in the other. Rohan looked at Josuke, disdain filling his eyes like milk in tea. The pompadour-sporting student returned the look. Their mutual friend Koichi stood between, his expression a mix of concern and weariness.

          “Oh, hello Koichi,” said the mangaka after a second, “And Josuke, I suppose. I’m busy.” Josuke stretched his neck and sighed.

          “Yeah, you always are, even though Magenta Man or whatever went monthly.” Koichi stayed silent for now.

          Rohan spun a calligraphy brush between his fingers. “I’m doing cover art for the new _Pink Dark Boy: Raging Rumble_ for the Dreamcast.” He swung the brush back between his ear. “So what do you want, Koichi?” Koichi adjusted a loose lock.

          “I don’t actually need anything, Rohan. Josuke does.”

          “Oh, really?” Rohan said as he tilted his body slightly to match Josuke. “And what could I, the great Rohan Kishibe, offer our diamond boy?” Josuke looked down, and scratched the back of his neck.

          “Shit… Ok, I’ll just say this once.” He looked up. “Use Heaven’s Door to give me fluent English.” Rohan raised an eyebrow. Josuke grimaced. “Come on!” he exclaimed. “I know you used it to help Koichi when he had to go to Italy! This is important!”

          “And what would you do with this newfound skill?” Rohan asked in a tauntingly slow voice. “Better understand your Prince albums?” Josuke looked away.

          “I… Me and mom have been invited to a family reunion in Tokyo, and…We’re gonna use English for Joseph’s… for Dad’s convenience.” Rohan stroked his chin.

          “And what,” he said after a moment. “is Koichi here for?” Koichi’s stand manifested behind him, accompanied by a gentle uplift in his hair.

          “To 3 Freeze your ass if you try anything.” This was accompanied by a hushed “No foolin’, beetch” from Act 3. Rohan stood back in mock horror.

          “Do you really believe that I, the great Rohan Kishibe, would do such a rotten thing?”

          “Yes.” said Josuke frankly.

          Rohan examined the skyline for a moment before summoning his small stand.

          “Ok,” he said as Heaven’s Door lightly tapped Josuke’s forehead. He slumped to the ground, and the skin on his forehead peeled away into pages. Koichi clenched his fist.

          Rohan held a hand up in submission as he knelt down to write. After a second, “I now speak fluent English” was written in luxurious handwriting on his forehead. Rohan withdrew his stand, and josuke got back up, groaning.

          “How’d you feel, Josuke?” Koichi said slowly. Josuke rubbed his forehead.

          “Fan-frickin’-tastic, actually.” Josuke said in perfect English. Koichi tilted his head.

          “D-do you mean ‘Gureito daze!’?” he asked after a secod. Josuke shook his head and looked around as if he’d forgotten he had come to the artist’s house in the first place.

          “I guess I do,” he replied, this time back in Japanese. “Thanks, Rohan.”

          “Don’t ask me anything like that for another year, boy.” Rohan intoned. “And if I hear you cheating in English you’ll be losing a few pounds, understand?” Josuke turned to leave.

          “Whatever, asshole. C’mon, Koichi.” Koichi looked back and forth from the two before joining Josuke on the walk home. His stand hovered before Rohan for a moment.

          “’til next time, muthafucka.” it intoned before fading away. Rohan watched the two walk for a moment before shouting.

          “Josuke! Tell your father I’ve had the first few volumes of _PDB_ mailed to him, personally translated!” Josuke looked back and smiled to himself.

          The bastard had some heart to him.

**Author's Note:**

> I might do a fic about the actual reunion if people want me to...


End file.
